Writing with Respect and Care

To assume that it is acceptable behavior to call people names, threaten or even berate another person simply because you didn’t like what they did or said…who does that help?  No, really – I want to know!  Because it certainly doesn’t help the person you’re writing to nor does it benefit you.  It keeps you wrapped tight in displeasure, negativity and bitterness.  You may think that by sending a complaint letter filled with your rambling unhappiness you are cleansing your spirit of the issue.  I suggest a different perspective.  Until you use your words to offer insight, thoughtful discussion and concern for more than yourself then you remain stagnant in your personal and spiritual development.

 Understand that we are all on a journey; we’re just moving at a different pace than our family, friends and neighbors.  Some of us remain stuck in prejudice, hate and violence while others have learned that compassion, respect and unconditional love make the world better for us all.  The successes of one group of individuals doesn’t constitute misery for another.  Instead, it should offer hope and inspiration that we can achieve the same level of success.   My income is nowhere near that of professional athletes or entertainers, but I don’t begrudge them the money and/or success they’ve obtained.  I see possibility.  Instead of asking why they make more than me I wonder “How I can improve my own situation?”

 Does it make me furious to read letters filled with vitriol?  Absolutely, but I pause and consider that the individual is dealing with issues of their own and perhaps they can’t see passed their own struggles.  It’s understandable, but not excusable. 

 Be aware that the words you choose matter.  How you phrase them matters.  Your intention in writing them…matters!  Choose to move us forward, not back and you just may find that the situation gets a little better by just looking at it with a more compassionate set of eyes.

The Choices We Make

To those that choose hate, I wish you love.

 

To those who choose anger, I wish you calm.

 

To those that choose retribution, I wish you find the healing power of forgiveness.

 

To those that choose violence, I wish you awareness of the damage it'll cause.

You have a choice.  We all do - each moment of every day.  Choose love for yourself and others.  Choose to find understanding in the midst of confusion.  Choose friendship in lieu of a solitary existence.  Choose progress instead of a stagnant life.  Choose hope instead of despair. Choose a non-violent response instead of harm to yourself or your fellow spirits.  Live a life full of unconditional love and understand that we all have a choice.

I seek answers to even the most difficult of questions.  Even though I'm disgusted and heart-broken when others cause unspeakable violence I choose to ask the why's and the how's. Why would anyone make such a deplorable and soul-damaging choice?  How can we move forward so that we overpower the hatred with unconditional love?

Call it religion.  Call it spirituality.  Call it naïve or weak.  Call my viewpoint what you will, but I will continue on making these choices. Because maybe, just maybe, someone finds comfort, inspiration or hope in what I write.

The "Magic" of Catholicism

I never thought religion to be a dirty word, but it has become such.  By the very people who claim to hold fast to its value.  They use it as a shield, as an excuse and even as a reason for their choices.  Good or bad, mind you. 

 I’ve spent many years on both sides of that coin.  Making what the general public would deem to be good choices due to what was expected/taught from the religious sect that I belonged to.  And also, struggling to do what I believe is right and just even though it veers from the teachings engrained in my being.

So, I distanced myself from the Catholic Church.  Not necessarily from Catholicism, but from the organization that enforces its rules.  Overall, there are so many aspects of this religion that I find inspiring, motivating and spirituality progressive.  However, it’s the key issues where we disagree and as such, I could no longer continue on that path.  In good conscience, that is.

My view of Catholicism may seem rather counterintuitive to their structure but it is nonetheless.  I loved the mysticism, the beauty, the magic of it all.  The idea that there were spiritual beings that could appear before you, unseen to anyone else.  That Jesus could perform miracles, angels could offer support and comfort, and saints could put in a good word for you.  I absorbed the idea of hope, of treating others with unconditional love and respect.  Of believing in the goodness of my neighbors and trusting that by believing strongly enough all would turn out right. 

I must stop here for a moment and state that I have NOT read the Bible in full.  I can’t quote chapters to support my statements or counter the church’s teachings with readings that they appear to twist to their own advantage.  This writing exercise is intended to express how Catholicism impacted (and continues to impact) my life today.  What I seek to impart is my own point of view because perhaps others may share it or find a new perspective on a long-held belief.

 

I went to Mass every week, said my prayers diligently, took all the applicable sacraments and embraced the title of “Catholic”.  I linked my faith with the choices I made, with the personality traits that I celebrated in myself.  Goodness, kindness, forgiveness and hope.  But there was always a disconnect between my faith and religion when it came to the strongest of my positive attributes – open-mindedness. 

Catholicism re-enforced the idea of unconditional love for all.  That love was more powerful than hate.  To not pass judgment on others.  To live life to the best of my ability and that those qualities that Jesus promoted would shine through me as an example.  But as I got into my young adult years I started to pay closer attention to what was being asked of me.  I admired, praised and worshipped the woman known as the “Blessed Mother”.  A woman depicted as kind, nurturing, supportive and full of forgiveness.  Her presence in the Catholic Church is everywhere.  She’s valued.  Given a prominent place of importance.  Yet I wondered why women were treated on such an inferior level as men.  To my recollection, and the teachings I can recall, Jesus respected and valued women.  He lifted them up instead of knocking them down.  So why not recognize the many gifts that the female sex has to offer in the development of your faith?

 

I’m not going to rant about the fact that women are not permitted to be priests or that reading options for Catholic wedding ceremonies are about cattle and belonging to a man.  Instead, I pose the following question…are your interpretations of the Bible stifling spiritual progression?  I am proud to be a woman of kindness, compassion, grace and hope.  I welcome those aspects of myself.  But at the same time I also have in-depth questions that need answered. 

 

I am a woman stuck between two worlds.  Between the idea of a pure, virginal, compassionate young lady and the one who experienced significant physical connections.  I struggled with what I considered to be angelic and pure with the physical needs that seemed natural.  I became incredibly embarrassed when members of the opposite sex showed any kind of interest in me.  I doubted my beauty.  I saw a young lady who was pretty but not gorgeous, angelic not sexy.  It plagued me to know the church only promoted one aspect of womanhood.  That we were to suppress those natural urges.  That being proud of your body, acknowledging the physical needs and expressing them were not only wrong but against Jesus’ teaching.

 

Those beliefs affected so much of my life and how I viewed myself.  I embraced the part of myself that’s entrenched in beauty, grace and compassion.  I didn’t doubt for a moment that those qualities are beneficial to the greater good, but when I started acknowledging the woman within my spirituality flourished in a way it never had before.  I felt connected to my body, my mind, my spirit.  Most importantly, I was connected to God on a deeper and more profound level.

I don’t intend to imply that young girls should start sleeping with everyone they come into contact with or act on all of their sexual urges.  Where we run into trouble is not acknowledging our feelings.  Right or wrong, admit they exist.  Then make choices that move you forward, not back.  This is where I believe the church could use some assistance.  You teach women to abstain.  To save themselves until marriage.  To stifle those feminine urges and wait until God has chosen your marriage partner.  Only then is it acceptable to embrace your sexuality.  That is…as long as your partner is of a different gender.  More on that in a later post.  Then, if a woman does “sin” it’s up to man to absolve her.  In the way that Jesus welcomed Mary Magdalene with open arms.  A woman viewed by others as a prostitute and a sinner.  It’s God-like for the Church to welcome sinners back into the fold.  But I question whether that was necessary to begin with.  Besides, my view of Mary Magdalene differs significantly from the teachings of the Catholic Church.

 

Male or female, adult or child, young or old…we are all on a spiritual journey.  We all struggle to intertwine both the good and bad within.  I am still searching for a religious organization that benefits me on a spiritual level.  I hope to find one but that won’t stop me from continuing to balance the emotional strength of Mother Mary with the woman called Mary Magdalena.