I have a ton of pet peeves. Truly, I do! For example, clothes left in dressing rooms, carts abandoned in parking spaces and cars that are apparently made without turn signals. My initial reaction upon seeing any of the above is immediate disappointment, frustration and annoyance. “Why are people so lazy,” I say. Then I stop, take a deep breath and re-examine my thinking. Sure, we all have moments when we're having an awful day and just don't feel like taking the effort to wheel a shopping cart 5 spaces back to its covered home.
Who am I to judge the reasons behind someone else's choices? Perhaps that person woke up to bad news, recently suffered a great loss or is overwhelmed with stress. My frustration, as true as it may be at the time, doesn't do anyone any good. Most of all me! So, the next time I answer the phone and a customer's unhappy, displeased and aggravated tone of voice greets me it's up to me to decide how I react. Do I counter their malcontent with my own? Or do I take a moment and realize there could be more going on in that person's life then I know?
How often do we say “Don't take it personally” then turn around and do just that? That annoyed customer may deflect her issues onto me because I'm the one who answered the phone but if I allow her actions to define mine then I'm only perpetrating further malcontent. I can't control anyone's actions but my own.
Those of you reading this will hopefully consider who really feels the effects when you become enraged because someone cuts you off, drives too slow or stops at a yellow light. You may honk your horn at me, that's your choice. But it's also mine to shake my head and continue on my way without letting your actions define mine.
All the best,
Kelly
Showing posts with label choices. Show all posts
Showing posts with label choices. Show all posts
Friday, May 6, 2011
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Lightening my life
I've been thinking a lot about happiness. About what that truly means. How do I define joy and happiness in my life? There's this nagging disagreement within me that takes exception to the idea that one must endure grief, overcome difficulties and suffer pain in order to truly value life in all its glory.
And life is glorious indeed. At least, it should be. In my humble opinion. Why is it necessary to be miserable, grumpy and depressed in order to come out the other side a much thankful and joyous individual?
Have the difficulties I struggled with over the course of my life so far made me capable of reflecting upon these very issues? Or have I always had the capacity to do so? There's no way of knowing; of going back in time and predicting what my life would come to be. But I do know each choice in my life was a contributing factor to my own happiness level. I spent many years absorbed in misery, depression and malcontent. I desired so much for my life but didn't see a way to grab hold of it. To pursue my dreams of a fulfilling career, marriage based in respect and love, and a strong foundation of friends.
I kept wishing, wishing, wishing for more. For life to bestow something upon me. Instead of changing my mindset to recognize all that I already had. I chose the unhappiness because it was easier in many ways. Succumbing to the deep black hole of sadness that lived within my stomach was something I became accustomed to. I understood it. I embraced it. I kept it safe. I wrapped myself up in a cocoon, put on my headphones and sought help from a higher source. All the time whining about why my life was so hard. Why couldn't I get passed the misery, disappointment and cyclical ups and downs of life in order to be truly at peace and happy?
It took an unlikely situation of irrational fear for me to realize that I had a choice. A few years ago, after spending a year living on my own in a converted apartment I became afraid of turning on a light. No really. I did! After a minor electrical issue I was more comfortable keeping the lights turned off in my apartment. I was terrified of turning on the switch in the event that it would spark a fire. And so, I would stay out until it was time to go to bed, keep the lights off and curl up in my warm, comfy bed.
Needless to say, my unexplainable, frustrating, worrisome fear of electricity led to a family intervention of sorts. An in-depth discussion with my father, a reinforcing girl chat with my mother and sister, and a need to write out my frustrations were the catalysts to my realization that I was afraid of sparking the light in my own life. Afraid of actually achieving my dreams.
I could decide to live in regret, resentment and disappointment or treasure each moment. As I lay in my parent's bed staring at the ceiling my mother came in and simply said, "I'm really getting worried about you. This isn't right. You're lying here alone instead of sitting with your 3 year-old nephew and playing "Lite-Brights". Parden the pun, but a light bulb went off at that moment. I realized that my precious toddler age godson was living a life full of laughter, happiness and unconditional love while I sank deeper into my own self-inflicted depression.
Each day since I've made it a constant goal to be more aware of my life and how I perceive it. The world around me is a little brighter all because I make the choice to turn on the light!
All the best,
Kelly
And life is glorious indeed. At least, it should be. In my humble opinion. Why is it necessary to be miserable, grumpy and depressed in order to come out the other side a much thankful and joyous individual?
Have the difficulties I struggled with over the course of my life so far made me capable of reflecting upon these very issues? Or have I always had the capacity to do so? There's no way of knowing; of going back in time and predicting what my life would come to be. But I do know each choice in my life was a contributing factor to my own happiness level. I spent many years absorbed in misery, depression and malcontent. I desired so much for my life but didn't see a way to grab hold of it. To pursue my dreams of a fulfilling career, marriage based in respect and love, and a strong foundation of friends.
I kept wishing, wishing, wishing for more. For life to bestow something upon me. Instead of changing my mindset to recognize all that I already had. I chose the unhappiness because it was easier in many ways. Succumbing to the deep black hole of sadness that lived within my stomach was something I became accustomed to. I understood it. I embraced it. I kept it safe. I wrapped myself up in a cocoon, put on my headphones and sought help from a higher source. All the time whining about why my life was so hard. Why couldn't I get passed the misery, disappointment and cyclical ups and downs of life in order to be truly at peace and happy?
It took an unlikely situation of irrational fear for me to realize that I had a choice. A few years ago, after spending a year living on my own in a converted apartment I became afraid of turning on a light. No really. I did! After a minor electrical issue I was more comfortable keeping the lights turned off in my apartment. I was terrified of turning on the switch in the event that it would spark a fire. And so, I would stay out until it was time to go to bed, keep the lights off and curl up in my warm, comfy bed.
Needless to say, my unexplainable, frustrating, worrisome fear of electricity led to a family intervention of sorts. An in-depth discussion with my father, a reinforcing girl chat with my mother and sister, and a need to write out my frustrations were the catalysts to my realization that I was afraid of sparking the light in my own life. Afraid of actually achieving my dreams.
I could decide to live in regret, resentment and disappointment or treasure each moment. As I lay in my parent's bed staring at the ceiling my mother came in and simply said, "I'm really getting worried about you. This isn't right. You're lying here alone instead of sitting with your 3 year-old nephew and playing "Lite-Brights". Parden the pun, but a light bulb went off at that moment. I realized that my precious toddler age godson was living a life full of laughter, happiness and unconditional love while I sank deeper into my own self-inflicted depression.
Each day since I've made it a constant goal to be more aware of my life and how I perceive it. The world around me is a little brighter all because I make the choice to turn on the light!
All the best,
Kelly
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