A Silent Voice

Working in the retail industry you learn fairly quickly that the “customer is always right”. Uh-huh, sure they are! But you nod, smile and tell them you appreciate their business. They can yell, complain and voice their opinion to anyone who’ll listen. There are those customers, you know the ones, who have no qualms whatsoever about vocalizing their opinions. They’ll rant, rave and cause a scene if that means they can make their point loud and clear.



But what about those of us who don’t shout from the rooftops, demand to see the manager or send scathing letters to the editor? We have opinions. We have a voice. We just don’t cause a ruckus like others tend to do. We take stock (not literally) of our surroundings. We pay attention to the actions of others. We listen, observe and make assessments based on what we see and hear. We have strong points of view on certain subjects like decency, respect and courtesy. If we don’t like the service we receive as a customer we’ll simply discontinue our business, without fanfare.



So, while there are many in our community who fill our editorial sections, public speaking forums and social media outlets with outspoken comments there are just as many who remain silent. And it is those individuals I wish to address today.



As someone who tries to avoid confrontation I tend to dislike controversy. If my opinion differs from the majority (which happens quite frequently as of late) I’ll take to my notebook and write feverishly all that want to say but don’t have the courage to vocalize in public. Sound familiar to anyone? I’ll get all riled up reading a newspaper article lambasting teachers and after some deep breathing exercises I’ll proceed with my day. When I hear a politician talk about stripping rights away from fellow citizens I shake my head and change the channel. But when someone negatively critiques a TV show that I love I’m immediately taking to my computer and writing well-thought out counterpoint arguments. Now, why do I hesitate on issues that hit close to home when I have no qualms making my opinion heard on entertainment topics? For one, speaking out about civil/human rights, respectful discourse, political issues and teacher negotiations means that while my opinion may be mine alone it doesn’t always stop other individuals from using my words to inflict harm on others.



I have not spoken up about my opinions on important subjects precisely because I worry that my words could be irrationally projected onto those I care about. As though they’re standing over my shoulder telling me what to type and think. Preposterous! But yet I worry. Rationally, I know that the majority of my fellow citizens understand and appreciate a person’s right to freedom of expression. But there are those who scour for reasons to cause trouble. To pick and choose your words and twist them to their own advantage. All you have to do is look at snippets from interviews with politicians and entertainers. It’s like a major cut-and-paste job. Then those whose words were misconstrued now have to scramble to explain themselves.



I like to think of this as the “witness stand” effect. You say the least possible as to not give the other person enough room to twist your words for their own benefit. But what does that say about us? I believe in a balance between freedom of expression and using your words with care. Language is an incredible way for us to communicate. It’s an art form really. Picking and choosing particular words, phrases and sentences to convey meaning and intention. Those who decide to use words to inflict harm upon others have violated the very language they so freely utilize.



And so…I implore those of you who may have very strong opinions to speak up. You may likely have resisted the desire to make your voice heard but in doing so we allow the words spoken in anger, hatred and frustration to fester within our community. Our opinions may not always be of the same viewpoint but when we choose to communicate with decency and respect then that helps further discussion and growth for us all.

A Thankless Job

I am a daughter, sister and friend to those who have selected teaching as their profession of choice. I admire them. I respect them. I value them. I acquired those affections long ago; as a student in the Neshaminy School District. For fourteen years, I was immersed in education. Surrounded by educators of all different personalities, teaching styles and ages. But one thing that never changed was my appreciation and respect for them.



There was a time, not too long ago, when the education profession was viewed as valuable. The educators as hard working, dedicated individuals deserving of praise. Now, I can’t read the newspaper without someone in the community lambasting a teacher. It’s not an issue of behavior, morals, ethics or the job performance. Instead, the complaints have to do with economic strain. The strain that the school district, community, taxpayers and staff are under.


I will not deny that I am an avid supporter of teachers. And the public school system. I truly believe they are worth all they’ve been given and more. I work a 9-5 job. I don’t bring my work home with me. I don’t cut lamin on the weekends, grade papers until 9 o’clock at night or go to sports activities in support of my students. Clearly, I am very passionate about my support of the Neshaminy School District’s teachers. But one lesson that I took away from my time as a Neshaminy student was the value in communication.


In the conversations, or lack thereof, regarding teacher contract “negotiations” I’ve noticed a rather interesting omission; the student’s perspective. The issue of how working to contract or a strike will affect students is discussed fervently by those in opposition of the Neshaminy Federation of Teachers’ (NFT) position. They claim the students will suffer more than anyone. I agree, but not as you may think. What’s been neglected in the conversations, editorials and venting comments is the realization that children are aware of much more then we sometimes give them credit for. Consider the following comparison…teachers and their district’s school board are the in the midst of an ugly divorce. There’s badmouthing, blame gaming, and hurt feelings being tossed around in the presence of the children. They’re being bombarded with negativity at every turn.


When teachers are demoralized, criticized or publicly humiliated do we not realize how this affects their students? What kind of lessons are we teaching when we attempt to strip away the rights of the very people entrusted with their education? In an ever changing world, students have been put in an incredibly difficult position. What’s the message we are telling them when disrespect takes center stage?


Sometime during the aging process our society, in general, has forgotten what it was like to be a student. We’re so busy being concerned about taxes, the economy, politics, parental responsibilities and on, and on. That’s understandable. Of course, your primary concern would be the well being of your family, friends and your own interests. You need to be able to provide for your family, pay for health insurance and deal with the unforeseen issues that arise as a homeowner. There’s no doubt in my mind that you may be struggling. But while you are working through your stressors, issues and conflicts please don’t forget that so are your neighbors. The next time you are inclined to lash out at the “greedy, blood-sucking teachers” why not recall your favorite teachers instead?


And what about the other point of view? How does the school board fit into this piece? My initial reaction is a negative one but that stems from my perceived opinion on their “actions” in the midst of this contract disagreement. As a student my only concern with the school board happened when their decisions impacted my educational well-being. I attended my first meeting when they threatened to cut the music program, which meant losing our music teacher, and that was a major no-no for me and many of my classmates! Other than that, I didn’t have much opinion either way on them. They were sort of like an unforeseen puppet master who pulled the strings only now and again. 


I prefer to give people the benefit of the doubt. To believe that they are doing their utmost in a given situation and truly working hard to resolve complex issues. In that vein, I must give the school board credit for the work they’ve already done. The recent political race showed me that very few have stepped forward to willingly be part of the school board. In that respect, it’s a thankless job. Sound familiar?


Instead of negotiating a contract through the media, hurdling insults and crossing arms like stubborn children why not show that you mean what you say? Meeting once a month, with no progression, isn’t doing any of us any good. This situation will only continue to escalate in vitriol until the NFT and the Neshaminy School Board realize that communication and respect are keys to resolving this issue. When they start meeting every week, stop the mud-slinging and lead by example then hopefully the negativity infecting our community will lessen.

A lost home; a lost opportunity

My mother’s childhood home was torn down to put in a home improvement chain. A house that was built by her grandfather. One that was filled with love, laughter and memories. A place that died when her father did. I don’t presume to know the thoughts or opinions of those who chose to level the building but I can assume that my great-grandfather’s home was a hurdle to someone else’s economic and business needs.



I recently found a box of family photographs, some of which belonged to my maternal grandmother. In showing them to my mom for identification of people I didn’t know she would pause at each picture that displayed the house she grew up in. “I loved that fireplace,” she must’ve said at least a dozen times. “Oh, look at that ceiling. Did you find one with a shot of the cherubs?” She talked about the French doors, the family gatherings, the love she had for that place. And what once made me angry instantly made me sad.


There’s a reason that shelter is an essential part of our survival. To have a place that protects us from extreme elements, gives us a place to rest and privacy. But, in my opinion, it also gives us comfort and community. Pride in your achievements and motivation for reaching a goal. To know that a place that once was loved, valued and honored was destroyed so easily literally tears at my spirit. I hear the cries of pain, the wails of the spirits that once lived and loved there. The sadness of my family members who loved it so. Who gave so much attention to a building that cared for them.


I understand and accept that progress is inevitable. I don’t dispute that or wish us to cease growing, learning and improving. But…at what cost? And I don’t mean that in a financial aspect. What price are we paying at the expense of financial gain? It’s cyclical really. Our community grows so we have more individuals looking for employment. More people in needs of services that businesses provide. So it’s a given that businesses need to expand to be able to keep up with demand. Yet, where does it end?


I am so thankful that I found those pictures so that one day when I sell my book and save up money I can buy my mom a house and reconstruct the fireplace and cherubed ceilings for her. Not to regress but to give her back something that was stolen from her. Something that she loved that was violated, and destroyed while she was powerless to stop it from happening.


A house is more than the wood, steel, furniture and wires that provide protection. It’s a place full of energy. Both positive and negative. It’s an unspoken member of the family. An overseeing guardian. Someone or something to watch over you. To feel along with you.

When our parents sold our childhood home we all cried. It was time. The outer laying community was expanding and congesting. Living on the corner was no longer conducive to our lifestyle. If we could’ve picked up the house and moved it somewhere quieter we would have. But that wasn’t the case. There was some comfort in knowing that a house that took such great care of us as a family was now going to be able to do the same for a new family. There would be children again running up and down the stairs, playing in the backyard, climbing the trees and sleeping on the floor. There’d be laughter, love and holiday celebrations. The house deserved nothing less. So when I drive passed I still blow it a kiss, place my hand over my heart and say a prayer of thanks for a great childhood.


I only wish my mom could do the same when she travels back to her hometown. Somehow I don’t think the home improvement building cares much.

My grandmother and her sisters-in-law (1964)

Patience and Responsibility: A match made here on Earth

I've come to the conclusion that we, as human beings, are moving so fast that much has gotten left on the wayside. We speed, not only on the road, but through our lives. Wanting to do everything at once and before our life is over. Life is precious. Why wait on what we can do now? I get all that. I believe it, up to a point. When we rush through our day without staying in the present then we lose something. What that something is I don't know. I'm not a psychologist, professor or historical specialist. I'm just little ole me, learning my own lessons and hoping to impart some of what I've learned to those who'd find comfort from my experiences.

In addition to racing through our day-to-day existence I've noticed how easy it has become, for some people, to project blame on anyone but themselves. Some drivers apparently don't know how to obey the speed limit in neighborhoods so let's add speed bumps or lower the speed. How does that change the habits or address the root of the problem? I understand that safety is the main issue at hand. Children should be able to walk down the road without the danger or someone racing around a corner. But, as much as I applaud local polictians and neighborhood watch members I also wonder whether people really care to figure out the root of the problem? Or are they more comfortable simply putting a bandage over the issue and saying they did something?

We are responsible for our actions. Not our parents. Not our employers. Not our children. Granted, there are many instances when the actions of others impacts us. That's a given! We're meant to connect with our friends, family and community. But...that doesn't mean we are exempt from taking responsibility of our choices and subsequent actions. We're living in a "He started it" kind of world these days. A country ready, willing and able to shirk our responsibilites and blame someone, anyone, else in lieu of doing what's right, fair and just.

I've been told that patience is a virtue. Is that because it's rare? I certainly hope not. I do know one thing, I'm not waiting for the rest of the world to catch up. They've already speeded on by without a second glance!

What a difference a week makes!

The day after the Tonys last week I took to my blog to write about how much I enjoyed the awards ceremony. I had sincerely hoped that I’d be doing the same next week after the Daytime Emmys. But unfortunately, that’s not the case. Last night’s Emmy ceremony was an absolute disgrace and utter embarrassment to not only the daytime fans but to the hardworking cast and crew who work so tirelessly in this industry.

I lost count how many times I raised my hands in frustration and exclaimed, “What does this have to do with anything?” From performances that had no connection to daytime (other than promoting Las Vegas shows) to blatant commercials for Las Vegas and other resort destinations. And as much as I truly believe that Oprah Winfrey deserved to be recognized for her remarkable achievement in the daytime industry did we really need two celebrity performances? I would’ve much rather seen clips from her 25 year history that reflected the integrity, excellence and class she was so well known for. You could’ve cut the first montage of celebrity guests, the musical tributes and just had the clips of how Oprah made an indelible imprint on the industry.

What we should have been treated to was a celebratory evening where the work of the nominees took center stage. Why not take the time and energy into putting together well-thought out montages of each drama series nominated for Best Daytime Drama? It’s not like it’s never been done before! There weren’t even brief clips of the nominees when their categories were announced. For those of us who don’t watch all the nominated shows it would’ve been beneficial to learn what made their show worthy of a Best Drama nomination.

I applaud CBS for keeping the Daytime Emmy awards on the air but I am confused as to why they made that decision if they weren’t going to treat the ceremony with the respect and admiration it rightly deserved.

So while Las Vegas seems like a great place to visit, charitable organizations are deserving of our appreciation and self-promotion can be a handy device they have no place in an award show ceremony. Especially when they detract from the nominees, the industry and their fans.

Award show praise: The 2011 Tonys

All other award shows of this season and next take note; The Tony Awards knows how it’s done! You’d be remiss to not look to them for inspiration and motivation when planning your own production. Here are just a few reasons The 2011 Tony Awards deserves praise:

• NEIL PATRICK HARRIS: A host who’s funny, smart, respectful and multi-talented. He’s a perfect fit for the theatre industry because of his wide range of talent. Not only can he pull off one-liner zingers but he can sing and dance. But most importantly, he supports the industry. He’s a fan of the Broadway community and that affection shows in his hosting duties.


• SHOWCASE OF NOMINATED WORK: The Tony Awards are known primarily for the musical numbers performed each year. And understandably, you’re not likely to find a Best Picture nominated scene to be re-enacted at The Oscars but the Broadway community understands not only their audience but their industry as well. They have a respect for the work created and don’t hesitate in showing it off.


• DIVERSITY: Not only does The Tony Awards include many age, ethnic, sexual orientation and religious groups but the work represented are just as diverse. From the classic Broadway style musicals, like “Anything Goes” and “How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying” to the edgy, contemporary musical “The Book of Mormon” Broadway’s range of topics, style and genre makes it appealing to a wide array of potential theatre goers.


• SUBDUED CELEBRATION: Ok, so perhaps you wouldn’t necessarily think of a Broadway community as being subdued but let me explain. The show isn’t about flashy stars, who’s wearing what or blatant marketing tactics. Instead, The Tony Awards celebrate the work of their community in a way that showcases their strengths. The show, in and of itself, is the best marketing tool the community has available. If a viewer doesn't have a desire to come see a Broadway show after watching the awards then the broadcast has done a disservice to not only the industry but to their audience as well.


• STAR POWER: Most viewers wouldn’t be able to recognize a great many of the nominees if they passed them on the street but you still get a feel for their work by the recognition of their peers. Sure there are stars in the Broadway community but I don’t mean TV/Film personalities who get top billing. I’m thinking of professionals like Sutton Foster, Patti Lupone, Matthew Broderick, Kathleen Marshall, Patrick Wilson, Rob Ashford and more; Individuals who are well respected within the community and whose longevity in the medium earns them the respect of their peers and theatre aficionados.
  
  So, if you’re getting ready to plan out your award show production style I invite you to look to the 2011 Tony Awards as a model of inspiration.
  
  All the best,
  Kelly

A Social Writer

I’ve never really been what you’d call a social butterfly. High school and college weren’t about making friends, though that was a bonus. Instead, I relished the opportunity to learn. I looked forward to, or dreaded, certain courses depending on the teaching style, level of personal interest and motivation. Growing up a relatively shy individual being part of a large group created apprehension within me. If I was out of my comfort zone then forget it! I wasn’t going to the party, dance or any other social event where I didn’t feel comfortable. Eventually, my viewpoint shifted when I came to the realization that how people perceived me took up too much of my valuable mind space.

Thank goodness for creative writing! This tool gave me confidence when I lacked meaning, direction when I lacked motivation and value when the world seemed too big. The words I took the time to select in my writing mattered to me. I took great care in what I put on paper because it was the most valuable outlet I had available to communicate what I’d left unspoken.

Three years ago I took a chance and joined a local writers group. Ever since, not only has my writing strengthened but so has my confidence. What I have to say matters; whether it matters solely to me or anyone else is irrelevant. I love what I do. I’m making an imprint in this world while continuing the tradition of communication.

When I attended the Philadelphia Writers’ Conference on June 3rd-5th of this year I was slightly hesitant at the knowledge that I did not know anyone else there. I kept to myself when I first arrived, put pencil to paper and started writing. That is until I sat down for the opening presentation, closed my notebook and made eye contact with those around me. I became aware of how many other writers there are in the Philadelphia area. And while that realization could’ve amplified my worry of getting published I found comfort in so many others who shared my affinity for the written word.

I met some wonderful individuals during this conference, attended fantastic workshops and was impressed by those who chose to facilitate/instruct the individual courses. This experience is one that will stay with me for many years to come. It reinvigorated my desire to pursue writing on a professional level and that helps make this butterfly soar.